| Literature / Prose / Fiction / Romance / General / Flash Fiction & Vignettes | ©2012-2013 =Metarex12 |
The Journal Portal
Browse Journals |
Polls |
deviantART [dee·vee·un'nt·ART]
Keep in Touch!
|
Deviousness |
In all seriousness though, I was a little confused when time skip transition happened in the story. I don't read that much stories though so that might be the reason
However, some parts, like "Come on. Let's take a shower and get to party." does need a bit of reworking (i.e "Let's take a shower and go to the party/get to partying."
Anyway, I hope you win the contest!