deviant art

Deviant Login
Buy ArtBuy T-Shirts & Gear Buy adCast Buy Premium Membership
Shop		  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
[x]
more ▶

More from =Metarex12

Featured in Groups:

:iconstartwriting: #StartWriting
We love to WRITE! :iconlive-to-write: #Live-to-Write
Live to Write, Write to Live! :iconthe-creative-writer: #The-Creative-Writer
Where Deviants Go To Read On dA

Details

April 1, 2012
6.4 KB
Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 32
Favourites: 68 [who?]


Views: 324 (0 today)
[x]

=Metarex12 has limited the viewing of this artwork
to members of the deviantART community only.

You can log in or become a member for FREE!

:iconmetarex12:
:bulletred: The Beginning
:bulletblack: Previous
:bulletwhite: Next

This is chapter 3 for my novel Feathers. This one is a bt=it longer, but now I feel like I rushed the story.

:bulletblue: Need suggestions for a better title.
:bulletblue: Please point out any spelling/grammar you noticed that I might miss so I can fix it.
:bulletblue: Please give insight on what you liked and didn't like.
:bulletblue: Was it too short? If so, what suggestion do you have to make it longer?
:bulletblue: Does what happen seem too predictable? If so, what suggestion do you have to make it less predictable?
:bulletblue: Do the scenes seem to be moving to fast? If so, what suggestion do you have to make it slow down?

:bulletgreen: Word Count for this submission: 1008
:bulletgreen: Total Word Count for Novel: 2729
Story, Characters, etc. © =Metarex12
Add a Comment:
 
Preview   Add Comment
love 0 0 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icontopcat-sama:
*topcat-sama Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This story was really interesting... although it was kind of obvious that the girl was the one depicted in Mithra's dream. One thing I would have liked to know is what made Gudrun kill Mithra and his family. In your story it seemed like their was some sort of higher being controlling Gundrun.
Reply
:iconmetarex12:
=Metarex12 Oct 28, 2012  Student General Artist
Thanks. ^^; You'll see later on.
Reply
:iconkuroii-no-okamii:
~Kuroii-no-Okamii Oct 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Whoa! Not a good idea to start off in the middle of a story. I really liked this though it was so intense, and easy to picture. I like how the feathers seemed alive. :D
Reply
:iconmetarex12:
=Metarex12 Oct 21, 2012  Student General Artist
:lol: Thank you.
Reply
:iconthe-paige-meister:
~The-Paige-Meister Oct 8, 2012  Student Digital Artist
oh nice chapter. I just started at this chapter so I don't know what's going on that well, but I think this looks like a good story! Keep up the great work! :3
Reply
:iconmetarex12:
=Metarex12 Oct 8, 2012  Student General Artist
Thanks.
Reply
:iconkiriyuu69:
~Kiriyuu69 Sep 16, 2012
>< I am actually kinda scared by this one ^^;;; so much pain and death ><
Reply
:iconmetarex12:
=Metarex12 Sep 16, 2012  Student General Artist
:pat:
Reply
:iconshannonlucy:
~ShannonLucy Sep 12, 2012
This is epic. I loved the ending "they descended, hungry for blood" :love:
Reply
:iconmetarex12:
=Metarex12 Sep 13, 2012  Student General Artist
Thank you.
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
Preview   Add Comment
©2013 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Developers | Careers | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Premium Membership Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy